Vietnamese families are changing with the strong development of socio-economic life, with positive changes but also negative changes. These changes are having a great impact on society, especially the formation of people with new values and standards. Prof. Dr. Le Thi Quy - Director of the Center for Gender and Development Studies, University of Social Sciences and Humanities - said: There needs to be a specific policy of the State on the development of Vietnamese families based on in-depth and comprehensive research, so that Vietnamese families can truly develop healthily, contribute to the development of society and bring happiness to each individual.
- Based on your research, how do you evaluate the changes in Vietnamese families today compared to the previous period?This is a very big issue that cannot be answered completely and comprehensively right away. However, we can summarize the changes of Vietnamese families in four aspects: scale, family relationships, family functions, and family nature. The scale and structure of Vietnamese families have changed in the direction of having more nuclear families, that is, families with only parents and children. Regarding family relationships, we can feel them most clearly when observing the lives of those around us. For example, in the past, feudal families were influenced by Confucianism, filial piety was the core of the parent-child relationship, or the three obediences were the duties of women in the family. Accordingly, the imposition of parental authority on children in marriage is expressed in the saying: "wherever parents put you, you sit there". Nowadays, equality between individuals in the family has increased, and democracy in the family is also higher. The imposition from one side such as husband - on wife, or parents - on children is decreasing. The family has many functions: economic, cultural, political, psychological and emotional functions... These functions have also changed dramatically. For example: the change in economic functions: in the past, during the subsidy period, both parents worked for a salary, and were the main laborers to raise their children. Now, the family can become a direct production unit, creating material wealth and all members can contribute to the economy. In essence, the family is no longer the only home for each member. In the past, in an agricultural society, people lived together, and emotional relationships were tightly bound. Nowadays, social relationships are developing strongly, each individual plays many roles, and participates more strongly in social activities. Adults have relationships with colleagues, friends, and even relationships within a group with common interests or hobbies. Children in the process of going to school and playing also participate in many other peer relationships. Close family ties are reduced.
- So what are the most positive changes, professor?We are facing a divide. If in the past, we had equality in poverty, now we are witnessing families getting rich very quickly. Along with material conditions, families have more conditions to develop culture, education and communication develop very strongly. These are very positive changes. That development helps families have conditions to improve the quality of their material and spiritual life. Vietnam currently has 40% of the population in need of social work. This is a large number. But even for poor families, they have the opportunity to change their lives, if they are hard-working, enthusiastic and talented. It is clear that society has basic equality so that all families have better conditions to develop. The Vietnamese government has a very correct policy in supporting families who get rich legitimately but at the same time also supporting poor families to rise up.
- But it seems that never before have there been such burning social issues related to the family as today: cases of children killing their fathers, mothers, relatives killing their relatives; serious crimes committed by children; adultery and divorce becoming common; homosexuality and social discrimination; the tendency to separate sex from love and family; domestic violence, social violence...?That is because we focus too much on economic development but do not pay attention to social and family issues. That has allowed families to develop without any standards. We break the old value system, consider Confucian views as backward but fail to build a new value system for the family. That is a very high price to pay for economic development but not the same as social development. There may be a somewhat lame comparison like a nouveau riche who has become rich very quickly but has little culture. Remember, the family is the place that performs the strongest socialization function for individuals. Humans develop from biological humans to social humans first from the family environment. We learn to adapt to social norms, participate in the labor process to create material wealth, learn to respect the principles set by society, learn to love, cooperate, help people in work and life... All of these things must be educated, taught, and developed from the family with relatives, most directly grandparents, fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters. If humans are separated from this process, they are no different from animals. We have known the phenomenon of "forest people", or children raised by wolves from childhood in the forest, until they grow up, although their physical appearance is human, their behavior is no different from that of the animals that raised them. Or like the phenomenon of homosexuality you mentioned above, how will we solve it? On the one hand, this requires society to respect the rights and legitimate needs of humans, but on the other hand, when this phenomenon becomes a trend, it causes great harm to society. Or if adultery becomes a “fashion”, it is also a distorted expression in family development that affects the existence of the family and the happiness of its members. All of the above problems are “exploding” and have deep roots in family education, but currently we still have little research and correct orientation in society.
- It is known that the Government issued the Vietnam Family Development Strategy to 2020, vision 2030 in May 2012. What is your assessment of this event, Professor?Research on family in Western countries has been done for a long time and they have achieved certain results. In Vietnam, the State has begun to pay attention to the family as one of the special and important social institutions for social development. The recent promulgation of the Vietnam Family Development Strategy is considered one of the positive actions. However, unfortunately, the criteria for building and developing the family stated in the Strategy are still quite general.
I think the State needs to immediately establish a Ministry of Family and Gender Equality with appropriate functions and experienced and knowledgeable human resources to solve current family problems.— Prof. Dr. Le Thi Quy
For example, we set out criteria for a prosperous, equal, and happy family, but what we mean by prosperous, equal, and happy still needs to be clarified. In the subsidy period, prosperity meant having enough to eat, but today, prosperity also means eating delicious, nutritious food and eating according to needs. Or does equality mean that children are equal to their parents, that everyone has needs and can do everything according to their preferences? What if we only emphasize rights without specifying accompanying responsibilities? How does equality develop among family members? Or how do we conceive of happiness? Is it true that a wife who sacrifices her whole life to serve her husband, raise her children, and fulfill her responsibilities to her parents and relatives without caring about her own personal needs is happy? The reason why the Confucian value system has had a long-lasting vitality for many centuries is partly because it has very clearly defined criteria. For example: children must put filial piety first towards their parents, wives must be faithful and submissive to their husbands, husbands must love their wives; parents must love and be tolerant towards their children... We also need to have more clearly defined criteria.
- So where do we start and what are the key solutions?I think the State needs to immediately establish a Ministry of Family and Gender Equality with appropriate functions and experienced and knowledgeable human resources to solve current family problems. Because the core of society is the family, the closest thing to each individual is the family. The family is where people are born, educates individuals to become good people for society, contributing to creating high-quality human resources for society. Such an important institution, such a big social issue must have an official management agency. And those who manage family work must learn knowledge, skills and be enthusiastic. The State needs to have policies to support family education, pay special attention to social work, and support poor families. Then there must be policies to improve population quality starting from the family. For example: Vietnam has been able to select good breeds and eliminate poor breeds through medical measures related to family reproduction. Regarding education, we need to more strongly implement family knowledge education programs for couples before they get married...
- The professor mentioned the change in value systems and standards in the family, including the change in the concept of happiness. So from the perspective of the relationship between family members, what is the criterion of happiness here in your opinion?The needs of each individual and family are endless and it is difficult to satisfy all of them. But in my opinion, in a family, the needs of each individual must be guaranteed, harmonizing between rights and responsibilities, to find their own freedom and happiness but on the basis of not trampling on the freedom and happiness of others in the family. Each individual enjoys the respect and love of other members, is given equal conditions for development opportunities, and contributes to the family and society in their specific conditions and circumstances.
- Thank you professor for the conversation.
