"Humanity - Sacred"

Everyone is born with a problem.You have dreams for yourself. Me too, I used to dream a lot when I was a child. But then when I thought more, I realized how unrealistic those dreams were. Have you ever thought that your dreams were trivial, small compared to others? I never did because everyone has their own dreams, it partly reflects the burning desire of the soul, so no one has the right to judge it as trivial, not even you. There are only unrealistic and realistic dreams. But its limits are very fragile, it depends on you. I used to dream but also destroyed it with my own hands as soon as it was "conceived". Thinking back to that time, I was in pain and tormented for a long time. I took away my own right to dream and put myself in my own shell, which now I think back on it could be a solid fortress that imprisoned my soul and was a place where only I could break it. You know, I literally came back to life when I destroyed that stupid fortress myself. I was lucky to find my dream again after it died. People often say: “When one door closes, another door opens, what you need to do is stop waiting for the closed door, but look for another door that is open for you”. I was happy to realize that the life of a 15-year-old child was not closed, not dark as I hypnotized myself like before. Do you know what the new door that opened before my eyes was? A bright future when I knew I loved something – a new thing for a middle school student. I knew about “university” – a concept that was a bit strange to an “autistic” person like me.

After entering high school, I oriented myself towards block D, which I thought at that time had Literature - a subject I could "talk nonsense" or "float" even though I was not good at "floating", English - my favorite subject - I liked to immerse myself in structures, vocabulary fields or passionate melodies and Math was quite "difficult" for me but I thought I could try. But which school to study and what to study? You must have thought the same as me when you were in grade 12, it's just that I thought earlier than you, right? I was different from before, no longer depressed and quiet but talked a lot, loved life and loved myself more. I loved creative freedom, hated being constrained. And I thought I would study at a school that was more social and liberal. And I chose Humanities. At that time, Humanities felt a bit close to me but also very strange. The school belongs to Hanoi National University, so I was afraid that I did not have enough strength to pass, to pursue my dream. But I am an ambitious person, so I determined to pass even if I had to take the exam again. After "transforming" my soul, I became very optimistic, but who can avoid anxiety when the university entrance exam - a threshold of a new life is near. I panicked in my subconscious again, but I never stopped hoping. I struggled in the chaos of thoughts and tried to free myself from the black hole of the subconscious - where I had been for a long time compared to my childhood. My parents, relatives and I gave me other choices. I had wavered, wanted to throw away my dream again. But after I let it go, what would I get? Would I be depressed or silent again or would I try to smile even though it was very painful? No! I was afraid that I would lose faith in myself, in the future. Humanities is very big in me, it gradually takes over a not small part of my heart. Sometimes I hypnotize myself with the vision of being a student of Humanities, going to school every day with pride and joy. And it seems that vision is the biggest motivation that makes me move forward despite being a bit adventurous.

And I got into the school I always wanted. Soon, I will know, learn knowledge, experience from new teachers that is not like before. I will have new friends, be independent, experience and certainly have some failures. I am still excited and happy even though I have to leave my parents to study far away - something I have never done before.

I also had times when I suddenly cried because of the intense homesickness and the shame of being in a foreign land. Could an 18-year-old girl from the countryside like me be surrounded by some temptations of life? I cried when I entered the crowd of strangers, entering a life that was all mine. How did I overcome that confusion? I was drawn into the lectures and stories in the teachers' classes. I was fascinated by the enthusiasm and sincerity of the teachers. I still felt inferior, but it gave way to the joy of learning new things, strange things, and diversity. Teachers were the ones who introduced me to my first life lessons. Friends were the ones who shared the loneliness of being away from home. Thank you Nhan Van for igniting my dream and helping me keep that flame of enthusiasm.

At this moment, thinking about Humanities, it is something very sacred. The love for Humanities has never diminished after the name Humanities entered my life. I feel so lucky to have set foot in this school, to receive knowledge and life lessons from the lecture halls that are now familiar to me. Humanities is so dear and close. Every time I have something difficult to share with my friends or whisper to my mother, I unconsciously go to school, sit under the cool green trees in the school, there is something here that soothes my soul. The sadness in me waves goodbye to me. Humanities has truly been an important part of my life. It is no longer just the school where I go to study, but also a friend for me to confide in even if I don't have to say it.

It's great to find your passion, right? But it's even more wonderful when you let your passion enter your life and know it shines. Are you currently finding your dream or are you living for someone else's dream? Have you ever given up your childhood dream like me, only to torment yourself and live in the past? If so, think again, slowly, you will see that in this life, sometimes we have to give up to move towards what truly belongs to us. You!

That is “my” Humanity. And you? Close your eyes and look in some deep corner of your heart, you will see a beautiful light, although it is still weak. Do you know why? Because it has not been lit yet.